I said a hip, hop...

Seriously loving this:

It totally reminds me of this:

Inadequate

I generally use this blog to share things I've been up to, or things I find amusing but I'm going to get serious on y'all today.

Have you ever had some little minor experience that shouldn't be a big deal, but it kind reminds you of a past painful memory or emotion?  That's what has happened to me over the past week.  And I've been trying to figure out how to articulate all the feelings and emotions running through my brain.  So here it goes...

I'm graduating next week in Broadcast Journalism from BYU.  Of course graduation brings about lots of blog posts reminiscing about the past few years and all the amazing memories.  I've read some posts over the last week from people in my program talking about how much they've loved our major and posting all kinds of cute pictures from the newsroom.  And this might make me sound pathetic, but looking at these pictures has gotten me kind of depressed.  I don't mean this to be a slight in anyway to the people who have posted these things...please don't take it that way.  Reading these posts has just made me realize that I don't have a huge group of best friends in my major and I've honestly always felt really inadequate among that group of people.  I genuinely adore everyone I know in my major...they are an amazingly talented, and friendly group of people.  But I've always felt like an outsider who doesn't really belong.  I've struggled with self esteem since elementary school and choosing a major full of extremely good looking and very intelligent people didn't really help that.  I've had my share of triumphs as a broadcast major...I spent two semesters as a news anchor, interned at the Today Show, and did fairly well as a reporter.  But I still feel so inadequate.  

I was never the stand-out intern who became best friends with the all the producers thereby winning coveted assignments in the newsroom.  I was never the best reporter or anchor, winning national college news awards.  In fact I only entered one competition because I never felt like my stuff was good enough to win.  I don't have a fabulous job lined up for after graduation...in fact I have no job lined up.  And I've never been the most popular girl in the newsroom who seems to be best friends with everyone.

That last one is something I've struggle with for a while.  Not that I feel the need to be the most popular girl in town...I promise I don't.  I think of myself as a very friendly person, always willing to lend a helping hand when it's needed.  But I'm innately kind of shy.  I always worried that I'll say the wrong thing to someone new or even worse, I won't have anything to say at all.  And therefore a lot of the time I just keep quiet and stay in the background.  I'm honestly generally ok with that, probably stemming from the fact that I grew up basically as an only child and can easily keep myself entertained.  The only time I'm not ok with it is when I realize that everyone else around me has formed these wonderful and vibrant friendships while I've gone unnoticed.  

This might seem like a dumb example, but I remember back in high school when I was the school mascot for a year.  Yes, you heard that right, I was the mascot...no laughing.  We actually did really well!  My fellow mascot, Kristina and I placed third at mascot nationals!!  But that year was definitely the hardest of my life up until that point.  The mascots worked with the cheerleaders who were of course a group of gorgeous, vivacious girls.  My low self-esteem made me extremely uncomfortable around these girls.  I wanted so desperately to fit in and be liked but most of the time I just stayed quiet because I assumed they wouldn't want to be my friends.  I basically made myself miserable that year by not putting forth any effort to get to know those girls because I was honestly just scared.  They were all very friendly to me and were genuinely a great group of girls.  But I let my fear overcome me and never really became good friends with anyone on the squad, and I've always regretted it.

As I'm writing this I'm also realizing how self-destructive I've been.  I could have made the effort to make friends on the cheer squad.  I could have worked harder on my internships in order to stand-out more. I could have worked harder to be a better reporter and anchor, thereby insuring myself numerous accolades.  I could have also started looking for a job months ago, so I would have somewhere to work after graduation.  But I didn't do any of those things.  I guess I decided I had different priorities or something.  Or my laziness or general desire to have fun rather than working harder kicked in.  So basically I've caused these problems for myself and still have the nerve to sit here an complain about it.  Yeah I know...I'm quite the sob story aren't I.  Please forgive me.    

I'm also realizing how depressing this post is sounding.  It's not that I don't have any friends...I've posted plenty of pictures of them on here.  In fact I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for.  I also do have some very good friends in the broadcast program.  I guess I'm just more the type to have a few really close friends than lots of people I'm only sort of acquainted with (although it's probably obvious from what I've said already that I'm totally jealous of those people who are just so innately friendly that everyone they meet is their best friend.  I have a few friends like that and I admire them so much).  I really am a happy person with a lot of wonderful things going on in my life.  I mean I'm about to be a college graduate for goodness sakes!  But sometimes I just get down on myself.  Normally I keep these feelings in until I burst out crying to my roommate or my boyfriend who inevitably makes me feel better.  I'm really not posting these things looking for sympathy.  But I've been realizing lately that a lot of bloggers find support through talking about their emotions and the things they're dealing with so I thought I would give it a try.  

I already feel so much better after having written this.  I'm not sure I've really shared these specific feelings with anyone before but I'm glad I just did.  I know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes or even a lot of the time.  I think girls have it in their nature to constantly compare themselves to everyone around them and to feel inadequate.  It's a nasty, destructive habit, but we all do it.  I really wish there was a cure.  And maybe the cure is just talking about it and realizing that other people, who may look perfect on the outside, feel the same way sometimes.  We all have our problems and as cliche as it is to say, nobody is perfect.  The problems I've shared today definitely pale in comparison to the much bigger problems going on in the world.  From the natural disasters in Japan, to civil unrest and war in the middle east, to the general poverty throughout the world, I almost feel ridiculous evening mentioning these feelings. But to me they are real and difficult.  

I heard a quote from Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles while I was on my mission that I always think of when I'm having hard time.  He said, "Some are tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely.  Others are tested by handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion of youth; others by the erosions of age.  Some suffer disappointment in marriage, family problems; others live in poverty and obscurity. Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and luxury.  All are part of the test, and there is more equality in this testing than sometimes we suspect” (“The Choice,” Ensign, Nov 1980, 20).           

Actor Spotting

I was just watching the "Launch Party" episode of The Office on Netflix...you know the one where Michael thinks he's invited to an awesome party in New York but it's really an online party and so he gets really mad and decides to throw his own awesome party and he orders pizza from the nasty pizza place in Scranton and the punk delivery boy won't let him use his half-off coupon on all eight of the pizzas he ordered so he puts the delivery kid in the conference room and won't let him go?  How's that for a run on sentence?!  Anywho...I'm watching this episode and realize that the pizza boy's voice sounds way familiar.

 Does anyone else recognize him?  Well a quick look at IMDB confirmed my suspicions.  The pizza delivery boy was played by non-other than wheelchair bound Gleek, Artie Abrams aka Kevin McHale.  

Am I the only one that loves watching re-runs of shows or older movies and seeing famous actors make cameos back when they weren't so famous?  It's like a film version of Where's Waldo.  Law and Order is the absolute best for actor spotting.  I swear EVERYONE has been on that show.  

Actor spotting is definitely one of my hidden talents.  I probably drive my friends crazy when we watch movies because I'm constantly shouting out, "Oh my gosh that guy/gal is totally in this show/movie now!"  

And apparently I'm not the only one who does this because when I googled Kevin's name to find the picture above I found these as well;

Gotta love it.  I've unofficially decided to call this pastime of mine "actor spotting" because I can't think of anything more creative right now.  But I'm wondering, do any of my fellow actor spotters have a better name for this awesome game?

Happy Birthday Babe!

This is totally two days late but Saturday was Erik's b-day.  The big 2-2 for my sweet boyfriend.  He had to work in the am but afterwards I took him out to see "The Source Code" (which we loved) and for a huge bucket o' movie popcorn (we LOVE movie popcorn and definitely ate a large bucket before the movie was even half-way over...then I got a refill to take home because the only thing I love more than movie popcorn is day old movie popcorn. yum.) and some black gold (1/2 coke + 1/2 mr. pib = crazy delicious).  Then it was up to Heber for the RSL game (they won!!  yay!!) and some amazing dinner cooked by Erik's even more amazing mom (ribs, green salad, and my new favorite potato salad ever...I think the Nystul's might have a conspiracy to make me gain a lot of weight, because talk about delicious food....my mouth is watering just thinking about all the yummy dinners I've had at their house).  

In honor of my sweetie's birthday I would like to share with you the present I gave him for the first birthday I knew him.  For those of you who don't know, Erik and I met as LDS missionaries in South Carolina.  But don't worry...we were just friends on the mish.  I mean look how far apart we are in this picture:

My last day in the mission...don't mind my seriously shiny face.   

The way epic Marion District: Elder Nystul, Elder Shackleton, Sister Tanner, and me

We were in the same district for 6 months and he had a birthday when we were first serving around each other.  So my adorable companion Sister Tanner and I wrote our dear Elder Nystul an awesome birthday rap and performed it for him on his birthday.  So without further ado, I present to you three very white, rapping missionaries:

That was me rapping, Sister Tanner on back-up vocals, and Elder Harmon beat boxing.  We gained some serious street cred that day.  A few weeks later Sister Tanner went home and Erik's companion, Elder Shackleton, was transferred to another area. 

Elder Shackleton and Elder Nystul with Herbert the duck.  

Our district at transfers.

But before we all got separated those two cute boys wrote Sister Tanner and I a rap.  And I'm sure they will kill me for posting this but it's just two great not to share:

Who would have thought then that I would end up in love with that tall, dorky, rapper...but I'm sure glad I did.  I guess it goes to show you never know where life will take you.  I've said it before on this blog and I'll say it again...Erik really is the best.  He puts up with my craziness, he makes me laugh everyday, and he is basically the most loving, wonderful guy a girl could ask for.  I love you babe and I hope your 22nd year is a great one!   

BYU Weekly: Students for Social Entrepreneurship

I did a story a couple of weeks ago about the BYU Ballard Center and for this show I got to know students doing on-campus internships through the center.  I have been planning this story for over a month and had so much fun getting to know this group.  They are some really wonderful people who I know are going to change the world someday.  My story starts around 7:55.

BYU Weekly: Family History

I had a lot of fun putting this story together with the help of the wonderful people in the BYU Family History Lab and the Family History Library.  There are some amazing resources on campus for family history.  So go check them out!  Mine is the first story after the introduction.

Just call me the party planner...

I am so late in posting these pictures!  But I wanted y'all to see the fun baby shower I planned for my darling friend Kristen the first weekend of March.

Isn't she cute?!  She's due this month.  AND she and her husband Andrew are totally naming the baby after me!  Ok, maybe they aren't really naming the baby after me but they are naming her Kaitlyn.

The theme of her shower was "The Apple of Her Eye."  We did mostly apple flavored treats and cute apple decorations.  This was the first time I've planned an official party so don't judge my amateur decorations too much. But I thought it turned out pretty cute!

I found this cute sewing basket at DI for $1.50!

We used children's books to create levels on the table.   

The letters came from Dollar Tree and we just used twine and clothespins to hang them up.  

The Menu

The food was definitely a hit and luckily I had help from Kirstin's family to make most of it. 

Apple Dip 

1 10 oz. tub of soft cream cheese or 1 8 oz. block softened

1/2 C brown sugar
1/4 C white sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2/3 pkg of a 8 oz. bag of SKOR English Toffee Bits
6-9 Granny Smith Apples cut into wedges for dipping

Mix together with a spoon until smooth – cream cheese, sugars and vanilla.  Fold in toffee bits just before serving so they don’t get soggy.  (soggy is yummy too!)  I cut the apples just before serving to prevent them turning brown.

Apple Strudel Muffins

Yields 12-18 depending on size

2 C flour

1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 C butter
1/2 C white sugar
1/2 C brown sugar
2 eggs
1 1/4 tsp vanilla
3 apples, peeled (1-shredded and 2 chopped)(I used Galas)
1/2 C  cinnamon chips

Topping

1/3 C brown sugar
1 Tbsp flour
1/8 tsp cinnamon
1 Tbsp butter

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease muffin pan.

Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg (or Penzey’s Baking Spice instead of cinnamon and nutmeg).

In another bowl, beat the butter, sugars and eggs together  until smooth. Mix in vanilla. Add in apples and cinnamon chips. Gradually add in the flour mixture. Note that this is a thick batter. Spoon the mixture into greased or lined muffin pan.

In another small bowl comgine the topping ingredients: brown sugar, flour and cinnamon. Cut in butter until mixture is like course crumbs. Sprinkle over tops of mixture in muffin pan.

Bake 20 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Allow to sit 5 minutes before removing muffins from pan. Cool on a wire rack.

Sour Cream Apple Bars

Crust:

1 C butter, softened
1 C firmly packed brown sugar
2 C uncooked quick cooking oats
1 C flour
1 C chopped pecans
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp allspice

Filling:
1 C sour cream
3/4 C sugar
2 Tbsp flour
1 egg
2 medium (about 2 cups) apples, unpeeled, shredded

Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Combine butter and brown sugar in large bowl.  Beat at medium speed until creamy.  Add  remaining crust ingredients and beat until well mixed.

Press HALF of crust mixture onto bottom of ungreased 13 x 9 pan.  Bake for 8-10 minutes or until light golden brown.

While crust is baking combine the filling ingredients; mix well.  Gently pour the filling over the hot, partially baked crust.  Crumble the remaining crust mixture over the top of the fill and press down lightly.

Bake for an additional 25-30 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the center is set.  Cool.  Cut into bars.  Store refrigerated

Egg Casserole

1 lb grated cheese (any kind)

1 can green chilies (optional)
½ lb chopped ham, bacon, or sausage
6 eggs
3 cups milk
1½ cups Bisquick
½ tsp. salt
½ tsp. pepper

Grease the bottom of a 9x13 pan.  Cover the bottom of the greased pan with the pound of grated cheese, then the meat and chilies.  Set this pan aside.  Mix together in a bowl the eggs, milk, Bisquick, salt, and pepper.  When this is well blended pour over the pan with the cheese.  Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until knife come out clean.  Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Wassail

3 quarts of apple juice (the largest sized jug at Wal Mart)

2-3 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate

1/2 contained frozen cranberry juice concentrate

2 cinnamon sticks

Mix everything together in a pot and bring to a boil.  Turn down the heat and let it simmer for 20-30 minutes.  

The Games

 I generally hate shower games but these were actually really fun!

Dirty Diaper

Materials- 5-10 diapers with 5-10 different types of chocolates 

This game is one of the funniest and most popular baby shower games. Have the baby shower host or appointed person moderately melt 5-10 different candy bars separately, placing each one in a diaper to be viewed by everyone. Mark each diaper as A, B, C, D, etc. Have everyone guess which candy is in each of the diapers. Make sure to use some candies that have nuts, toffee, caramel, etc. 

Name that Celebrity Baby

 Materials: Celebrity Magazines, Baby Magazines, Poster Board, Glue

Prior to the baby shower, go through magazines cutting out 15 different pictures of babies. Go through varies different magazines and cut out baby heads and celebrity bodies. Paste the baby heads onto the celebrity bodies. Try to use a variety of celebrities from different era's too as to accommodate the different ages of your guests. You can either use a giant poster board and paste the pictures onto it or you can paste the pictures to cardstock and laminate each one. Don't forget to number each one and write down the celebrity. Have each guest try to guess the name of the celebrity. The one who guesses the most correctly wins.

Baby Supplies Memory Game

Materials: Different baby items such as a bottle, pacifier, diaper, etc as well as pads of paper and pens

Place several baby items on the table (i.e., rattle, teather, lotion, bottle scrubber, mittens, comb). Leave the baby shower items out for a few seconds to view the items and then take the items away. Everyone has to write down as many items as they can remember. The one with the best memory wins.

Guess Mommy's Tummy Size

Materials- String or yarn and scissors 

Have each woman pull the yarn to the size they believe would fit perfectly around the Mother-To-Be's center of her pregnant tummy. After everyone cuts their string, compare the results to the Mommy-To-Be's actual tummy. Give a prize to the woman who is the most close! This is a baby shower favorite.